2008/04/12 @ 15:11 EDT
I'm a Blogger | I'm a Concerned Citizen | I'm someone with Issues | I'm writing 365 Posts in Oh-Eight
Tags: blog clique, blog-buddy, clique, different viewpoint, feeds, friends, mean people, opinion, PC, political correctness, politically correct
LIGHTBULB MOMENT: I’m reading all the wrong blogs. Lately, I find my opinions inexplicably narrowing by the lack of diverse content and opinions… Unfortunately, my feed list has become too populated by judgment-callers, popularity contestants, and blog-buddy clique members.
What’s a blog-buddy clique, you ask?
A blog-buddy clique is a group of blogs who all blogroll each other, comment exclusively on each other’s blogs (and link often to other buddy’s posts) and always, ALWAYS jump to the defense of a fellow blog-buddy should that buddy be disagreed with ‘attacked’ by someone with a different viewpoint.
Blog cliques seem to form when one blogger is outed by a person/group/opinion and absorbed or accepted by another group. A blog-buddy is someone who outwardly only reads and responds their blog clique’s blogs and always agrees with fellow blog-buddies, oftentimes losing sight of the fact that ‘outside’ opinions are equally as valid as those of their blog-buddies.
Blog cliques then become popularity contests (for hits, unique visits and blogroll status, of course) for insecure bloggers who don’t feel their opinions can or should be challenged. Why? Because in their mind(s) they ARE right and YOU are wrong… and their blog-buddies in their blog clique will back them up no matter how valid or invalid the original argument.
Whatever happened to learning from what others have to say? From putting someone else’s shoes (opinions) on for size? For seeing life through the eyes of another?
And what happens if you disagree with someone and their blog-buddies come out in droves, ready for battle? You get emails like this:
I would think that after getting defriended and kicked off multiple websites you’d get the picture and check yourself. Apparently, that’s beyond you… you are both ignorant and moronic… But then again, you never were very brilliant so I’m guessing you won’t understand any of the above sentence.
Personally, if I’m ‘defriended’ from a website or blog because of my opinion, then I take that as a compliment. If said website or blog (or blog-buddy) can’t recognize the value in a different opinion then I shouldn’t be on that website or blog to begin with.
… and anyone taking the time to stoop low enough to email me (in this particular case, a dozen times) just to insult my intelligence and call me names deserves to be silently laughed at, even if it comes in the form of irony on my own site.
So why do I think blog cliques and their blog-buddies have become so close-minded and mean? Because they are insecure and many of them want to make everyone else PC to their viewpoints.
I’m sorry, but I’m not going to always be ‘politically correct’ toward what you think or say. I’m not a robot that responds in a clique-ish manner - I have a brain, I’m an individual. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion (no matter how wonky) and I feel that even if I don’t agree with an opinion, I can learn something from it.
I also feel that if I disagree with a broadly-defined ‘group’ (or blog clique) of people who have a broadly-defined opinion, that I am not intentionally hurting anyone’s feelings (certainly not an individual’s)… I’m just disagreeing with a viewpoint that I don’t… well, agree with.
Political correctness has tried to flush the ability of individuals who have opinions and who want to express them down the proverbial toilet. Well, I refuse to be flushed (or become a blog clique member)…
On that note, I think I’ll look around the big bad blogosphere and find some new feeds to read. What can it hurt?
2008/04/12 16:29
I don’t agree with the blogger buddy thing as I see that as too broad a statement. I’ve never been a fan of mob mentality and when I see it an often inspired to play DA just because. I have what I consider blogger buddies and I think we’re buddies (and a couple of them have links to my blog on theirs even) because of a commonality. I don’t think either of us feel that we have to agree with each other all the time though. I’m, in the words of my husband, a whiney *** liberal… my husband is a former republican hard nose (and now likes the green party). Diversity and individuality are gifts and I look for and encourage that. Life is too short and would be too boring if we were all carbon copies of each other.
I’d definately look for other blogs to read. There are lots out there that don’t play the ‘mob’ game and have wonderful things to say. I feel sorry for people when I see that happen. Variety is the spice of life (I’m so cheesy).
2008/04/12 17:56
Doesn”t sound like a fun thing> You”re always welcome to come hang out with me> :)
My keyboard has lost its mind>>> thus the strange characters where commas and periods and apostrophes should be> I hope I don”t kicked out of the “club>” :)
2008/04/12 20:26
Hmm…so here’s the thing. I read a lot of blogs. Some of them I agree with whole heartedly, some of them I agree with occasionally, and some of them I read just because they annoy me (I realize that one might not make much sense, but there it is).
Now, I will say, that if you attack one of my blog-buddies that is making a good point, I’ll defend them, yes. (I have a whole blog about that in fact!) In this particular instance, I felt my friend (because she’s not just a blog-buddy) was seriously wrongfully attacked and that’s just what I do as a friend - blog or not.
I guess I’m not open minded enough to read every opinion and just go, “Huh, I guess I never thought of it that way” - I truly in my heart believe that some “opinions” are just wrong. Or ignorant. Or unjust. And I can’t just let them slide. I’m bad that way, and I know it (cause I blogged about that one too!)
As for the popularity contest? I can’t get into all that….I just don’t have the time or energy to care :) If people find me worth reading, then great! If they don’t, then that’s okay too. I’ll just keep writing for me :)
2008/04/12 21:31
I was never in a click in high school, so I’m not sure that I’m in one now. I, like thanksgiving mom, read blogs because I have something in common with them, they make me laugh, or just because i’m nosey. Yes, I follow blogs of people that annoy me for the sheer purpose of having someone to get mad at or roll my eyes at, but I hardly ever comment on those.
Don’t worry, you’re not in that latter group.
Go make some new friends…:) And you’re more than welcome to stop by my place anytime.. :D
2008/04/14 1:27
How boring it would be to just read a handful of blogs that are all the same ideas. My blogroll is so insanely diverse. Some people are just afraid to be out in the big world alone, so they need a gang. Me, I flit from group to group happily.
2008/04/15 9:04
I don’t even have a blog.
Well, ok, I do, but it’s on a protected journaling site, because I have no desire to open myself up to the general public. I’ve been in my little “community” there for 8 years (holy crap). It serves a purpose for me, but I needed more diversity, which is how I found blogs like yours. =)
2008/04/15 23:26
Word. Up.
I followed your comment at COTM. I couldn’t have said that better myself.
You are more than welcome to come disagree with me ANYDAY.
2008/04/16 7:59
What an interesting post! I followed you here from Neilochka. I usually enjoy a comment to a post on my site that challenges something I’ve said…it makes me think.
2008/04/16 11:35
Every once in awhile I like to expand my blog horizons and check out new blogs, like yours!
I don’t agree with everything everyone says bue I sure like to read about them. If everyone had my opinion the world would be a boring place!
2008/04/16 13:01
To my the blogsphere is all about freedom of speech and viewpoints. What a boring place this would be if everyone thought like me.
2008/04/16 14:12
OMG, I literally just finished writing about how I feel excluded in a way from all blog cliques.
I totally needed to read you today. Thanks!
2008/04/16 20:13
I do find that I visit the same blogs as a lot of other people but I don’t see it as a competition. I guess I’m guilty of forming a blog click, I started the Healthy You Challenge to unite people working towards a healthier lifestyle but honestly, its all about supporting each other, everyone is welcome. I’d never want to be a part of something like you described, life is too short!
2008/04/16 21:57
I don’t buy into the stats/blogroll/popularity contests. I blog what I feel like because I want to whether or not anyone wants to read it. I am friends with a lot of ‘mommy bloggers’ (as I have met them in real life) but I wouldn’t consider myself part of a clique and I certainly wouldn’t trash someone just because some one disagreed with their opinion.
I love that you have the same blogging attitude as me. And I blog hop all over the place.
That’s how I found you!
2008/04/17 0:20
Yep. I totally agree. And not just so I can be your blog buddy.
Cliques should have been left behind in highschool.
I jump around. Comment here. Comment there. Don’t comment. Sometimes I agree. Sometimes I don’t. Even better? I don’t care what people think. This is the internet. I don’t have to see you at the grocery store next Friday. If you hate what I have to say, I’ll get over your disdain. :)
2008/07/17 15:58
[...] in the first place. If you need your blog buddies to counter-attack, you’re lame because blogging cliques are for wimps, and bloggers who whine about criticism don’t belong in a public [...]